Three years’ time, Five… Or it’s not in your agenda? Then you need to read this.
In a bid to know about relationships or for reasons best known to many young people out there, they venture into relationships with the hope of getting married someday when they’re probably not sure of its possibility. But unfortunately, they met what they never bargained for.
Going into a relationship is not a crime. Trust me, you need the company of those who would wake the giant in you, those who would challenge you into success and not those who would destroy you.
Now that you’re in a relationship, how soon are you getting married? Honestly answer the question otherwise see what would happen if marriage is not in your agenda in the next two years or less?
But of what benefit is it when you’re not planning for marriage say in the next two years? Do you know that when the purpose of your relationship is not known, abuse is inevitable? One of you will do one thing that would lead to the advantage of the other but to the detriment of the other party.
- Going into a relationship not leading into marriage will set you up for emotional intimacy.
Men and women are emotional creatures. One of the activities that predates sexual intimacy is emotional intimacy. Except in rape cases, you cannot copulate with someone you’re not attracted to. And why should you set yourself up emotionally and become a victim of what you could have avoided?
Most relationship that ended in heart break, premarital sex or sexual immoralities was as a result of emotional intimacy. There’s no point creating emotional hang ups when you do not see yourself building a life together. Why the ‘I love you’, ‘I like you’, ‘I miss you’ and all that that makes you think he or she is up to something?
It takes wisdom to draw the boundaries or even opt out of a relationship when you do not need one at the moment. Many have ended up being friend zone having thought they’ll be together someday. Make your intentions known so that you won’t nurse emotional pain later.
- Once you’ve been emotionally attached it’ll affect your ability to make the right decision. It’s easy to escape a ditch than to seek for means of getting out of it.
Confusion comes when you have been entangled in a thing and a part of you is outside of it. It’s very easy to quit a relationship when you haven’t been trapped in it. When you hear people say, “I love him but…” or “I love her but I don’t know if I should leave her. This is the hallmark of indecision.
When you’re not emotionally involved in a relationship, your sense of reasoning won’t be clouded. You’d be able to separate love from lust and you’d know whether they are suitable for you or unsuitable. If you know that you’re not ready for a relationship, it’s wisdom not to enter into one so that your indecision won’t lead you into making the wrong decision in life.
- It would affect your relationship with God – more time for him or her and less time for Him.
If you have an intimate relationship with God, sincerely I beg you to desist from any love relationship when you’re not ready for marriage. Take time to solidify your relationship with God because it would help you a lot.
Do you know that one of the relationships that affects your relationship with God is your boyfriend or girlfriend relationship when you’re not married? There’s no how you won’t deprive God of His full place in your heart when someone else is occupying it.
God will preserve your heart better than how your boyfriend or girlfriend will do.
It’s even safer you place your emotions in God’s hand so that He can lead you to the right person when the right time comes.
Don’t think God isn’t interested about your love relationship. He knows who’s right for you now and in the future even when you cannot see tomorrow. Relax and keep serving Him, very soon He will honor you and your marriage will be the envy of your friends.
- You’d expose each other to sexual immoralities or premarital sex
Emotional intimacy is the genesis of all sexual immoralities or premarital sex.
Ask those who were victims of relationship issues, it all started from the emotional intimacy they once shared and ladies are always at the receiving end.
You can avoid sexual sins when you avoid emotional intimacy. When your souls are tied together, and there’s chemistry reaction between you two, in your unguarded hours; sexual immoralities would come into play.
Only you can tell yourself the truth by asking this question again: Do I need a relationship that’s not certain it would lead to marriage now?
The following categories of people should not consider such relationship now.
- Students in secondary school
- Those who are still depending on their parents for survival
- Those who do not have a relationship with God
- And those who haven’t discovered God’s purpose for their lives.
However, the above list can be overruled by divine arrangement. Let God rule the affairs of your life rather than work out things to your disfavor.
If you can follow these tips, you’ll save yourself from being exposed to the consequences of going into a relationship that’s not leading to marriage.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017