Good evening most precious daughter of the most high, beautiful queens, adorable princess too loaded, going to high place to happen.
I count it a great opportunity to be among us here tonight, Women of Worth (WOW)
I appreciate our sister and all the team members working together, your labour of love will never be in vain in Jesus name.
My assignment is very simple amidst us tonight and I will go straight to what I am asked to do.
The topic before us is Placing Valuing Yourself as a Woman
It is very common that, as Christians, we often neglect to value ourselves as Jesus values us.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection
What Is the Meaning of Self-Worth and Self-Value?
Self-worth and self-value are two related terms that are often used interchangeably. Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy. The differences between the two are minimal enough that both terms can be used to describe the same general concept.
However, well provide both definitions so you can see where they differ.
Self-worth is defined by Merriam-Webster as:
a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.
On the other hand, self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself, than how you feel about yourself compared to others (Stosny, 2014).
Self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself, than how you feel about yourself compared to others. It necessarily includes self-care.
To value something goes beyond regarding it as important; you also appreciate its qualities, while investing time, energy, effort, and sacrifice in its nurturing or maintenance. If you value a painting, you focus on its beauty and design more than the cracks in the paint, and, above all, you treat it well, making sure that it is maintained in ideal conditions and shielded from direct lighting. Similarly, people with high self-value appreciate their own better qualities (even while trying to improve their lesser ones) and take care of their physical and psychological health, growth, and development.
Sometimes, we get so caught up in helping others that we forget our value and form insecurities that cripple our emotional well-being. Knowing our worth and where it is found, is very important in order to stay focused on the things that God assigns us to do on earth. As daughters of Zion, this knowledge helps us to stay confident and clear during our race. As we face problems in our lives, we will be able to remember our worth through the work that Christ did for us.
Most times what Determines Self-Worth?
Having a healthy Self-Worth According to the self-worth theory, self-worth is determined mostly by our self-evaluated abilities and our performance in one or more activities that we deem valuable. However, people commonly use other yardsticks to measure their self-worth. Here are five of the top factors that people use to measure and compare their own self-worth to the worth of others:
1. Appearance, the size of clothing worn, or the kind of attention received by others;
2. Net worth this can mean income, material possessions, financial assets, or all of the above;
3. Who you know your social circle some people judge their own value and the value of others by their status and what important and influential people they know;
4. What you do/your career we often judge others by what they do; for example, a stockbroker is often considered more successful and valuable than a janitor or a teacher;
5. What you achieve as noted earlier, we frequently use achievements to determine someones worth (whether its our own worth or someone elses), such as success in business, scores on the SATs, or placement in a marathon or other athletic challenge (Morin, 2017).
Your grades, The number of friends you have, Your relationship status etc.
Genesis 1:26-27 says we are made in His image, the very image of God. Psalm 139:13-16 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and all the days of our lives were written in Gods book before we were ever born, confirming Gods prior knowledge and plan for our lives. Ephesians 1:4 says God chose His children before the foundations of the earth were ever formed, and in Ephesians 1:13-14 were told we are Gods own possession, chosen for the praise of His glory, and that we have an inheritance in heaven with Him as His children.
These verses all have one thing in common: they are things done to us or for us by God. These are not things we have done for ourselves, nor have we earned or deserved them. Our worth is not really of our own but it is worth given to us by God. We are of value to Him that we cant even imagine because of the price He paid to make us worthy which is the death of Christ on the cross.
Acknowledging our worth determines the way we live our lives, interact with God and other people. Respecting who you are is a huge part of valuing yourself. This may mean not talking negatively about yourself and looking for every chance to be critical. It may mean not staying in unhealthy relationships because we think we cant find better ones or we dont deserve them. It means taking care of ourselves, in all aspects of our lives.
I remember before I met my husband, I started to pull back from some toxic relationships in my life. Then I allowed myself to be taken advantage of; I let myself be taken for granted. They demanded so much but gave so little. My time, my finances, my heartfelt, I will stretch until I break.
When my priorities shifted and I started giving a little more love to me. Not only did it feel amazing, but I had to have this love within me before I could give it freely to someone else. My new found happiness was poorly wished upon. And instead of attempting to fix those relationships, I stood my ground with I am loveable and worthy mantras. I focused on the blossoming relationships and let go of the suffocating.
Making yourself a priority enables you to be a better person, not just for yourself, but for the relationships you forge along the way. The choices we make from a more loving space are far more beneficial than the ones we make from a place of guilt, lack and overextending.
Why Should You Value Yourself?
If you dont realize your worth, you wont be able to share that same value to others. This goes back to the second commandment that Jesus gave, Love your neighbor as yourself. In order to love others, you have to love and value yourself. For example, you have to realize you are good enough and that you are loved beyond measure, to show that same love and value to your friend. Only then you can care for them, love them, make them feel valued for their friendship with you.
Whereas, if you dont love yourself, you often feel bad about yourself, have low self-esteem, undeserving of good things or jealous because someone has it better than you. There are many examples Ive seen in my everyday life that reflect these characteristics simply because there is no self-love or worth. When people are bitter about their own short-comings, they feel the need to be jealous of other peoples success. Thats why it is so important to be content with who you are and what you have and actively try your best to be the best that you can be.
In order to feel confident and valued, you have to love all the good and bad parts of yourself. Remember to accept your mistakes and work on your faults, to be the best version of yourself. This works better than comparing yourself to someone prettier than you, smarter than you, braver than you or richer than you. Love yourself for who you are, just as Christ does. Jesus knows that you are flawed and have sinned a great ton of times. But He still chose to love you, give His life for you and have a relationship with you. Now tell me, do you still feel like youre not worth it?
I used to be very insecure about my character and my personality. Since Im an introvert before, I used to be very scared to put myself out there. I would always think twice before I would say anything. Before I would contribute to the conversation, the moment would pass and everyone would have moved on. I would always be scared of being told, This person is the same age as you and theyre talking confidently to everyone. Why cant you be like them?
Because of that, I used to think, my thoughts never added value to conversations. I used to think, I wasnt as interesting as others. So I would stay quiet and felt unworthy amongst other people. But then I found the confidence to speak my mind, by reading and learning about many topics. I would watch videos of current events and popular culture.
I would read articles about history and science. I would stay on top of current trends and new technology so that I would be able to bring value to conversations and bring credibility to what I would say. That made me feels less insecure and built confidence to face my peers. I trained myself to be my best, which gave me more confidence, as I pushed myself to approach more people and carry conversations with them.
I try not to let a difficult situation that I face, control me, but I use the value I place on myself to determine the mood I have to be in. At times, I would encounter conflicts with someone I love or a family member, which would make me feel unworthy or unloved. During those times, I would remember the sacrifice of God for me because of His love and that He has a purpose for me on this earth.
That would rejuvenate me to keep going. As I learn to love myself for everything that I am, I remember that all my flaws make me who I am. I try to be a better version of myself each day so that I can feel confident and to inspire those around me.
How To Know If Your Values Are Right
Personally, I base my values on the Bible, my family, and my experiences. My parents taught me values based on biblical truths that shape our moral values. From a young age, Ive spent my life listening to sermons by my dad, mom, grandpa, grandma, and even my siblings.
Plus by pastors during Sunday services. Thats a lot of sermons! Even though Ive heard many people teach from the word of God, Ive always been intrigued about what the Bible actually says and what the true intention of God is in scripture. If I was ever doubtful about why a law or a rule was commanded, I would go to the scripture for an explanation.
When I base my morals and values on the word of God, I believe the Holy Spirit reminds me of what the word of God says and teaches me right from wrong, each day, as I walk with Him. As Col 3:1 says, Seek the things that are above, I set my values based on the things of God and strive to do things that are pleasing in His eyes. In time, through my personal experiences, my values were shaped into specific things I believe.
For instance, my take on relationships, movies, music, entertainment, sin, faith and more, were all shaped by the situations I faced as I grew and through my understanding of the word of God. As I base my values on the Bible, it helps me lead a life pleasing to God and keeps me protected.
Jesus Shows Us Our Worth Through His Love.
Genuine love comes from Christ. He is the model of love (1 John 4:7-21). When we experience His love, we get to share that same love with others. Without experiencing His love, we will only try to show our human love, which always has strings attached or ends in disaster. To experience His love, you can read about all the goodness of God through the Bible.
As you actively spend your life with Christ, He will show His love to you through everyday life situations. He will show His care in the smallest things as you carry out your day. Look for His goodness in all things and remember that your worth is found in the unconditional love of Christ.
Below are seven ways to start to value yourself and make yourself an important person in your life. Besides, everything starts with you.
1. Stop comparing yourself
Comparing ourselves to others is a losing battle. Not only do we look for things we lack, but we find ourselves in the feeling of lack. Unless you have been in their shoes, view life the way they do and gone through their experiences, you are comparing yourself to information that can in no way be accurate.
Comparing takes the focus off you and onto that person, yet your power lies in things you can affect in your life. You are a unique being and there is nobody in the world like you.
Start to shift your focus on things that are going right in your life and pay attention to the person looking back in the mirror. He or she has their own unique attributes. Let go of the inner perfectionist and start to appreciate your smile, your talents, what you have to offer. Starting to see your value is the fastest way to shift focus to the right place.
2. Dont settle
Some people stay in jobs they dont like just because of the salary. Others settle in relationships that no longer cause their hearts to race. Some of us stay with friends who deplete us because we long for any kind of company. Whatever your settle, its not worth the cost. You deserve peace of mind and to be outrageously happy.
If you are constantly saying to yourself, There has to be something better than this, you are probably settling. Dont settle for less. Seek out to find your best.
3. Start appreciating
Appreciate the bed you sleep it. Appreciate your significant other. Appreciate the clothes you have on your back, your car, your food. But mostly, dont forget to appreciate what you bring into the world. Start to see the joy you bring to others. Give thought to the impact of that joy and its ripple effects. Just because you are not aware, does not mean it has not extended itself further than you can imagine.
The more you appreciate, the more good will flow into your life.
4. Foster healthy relationships
Let go of or at least distance yourself from anything that causes you to feel less than good. Find yourself in the presence of people who bring something significant into your life. Make it a point to have at least two people who feed your spirit, encourage your dreams and accept you for who you are. No alterations. Cultivating strong, nurturing bonds encourages us to remember we are not alone and keeps our hearts open.
5. Learn to say No
While we are here to help one another there will be times were tempted to do things at the expense of our own well-being. Sometimes when we give more than we can we dont allow the other person to learn from or have their own experiences. Continually doing things out of insincere obligation can lead to resentment. Instead, honor yourself by doing what feels right for you.
No can be liberating, because when we say no to others we are saying yes to ourselves and were in alignment with our values. Allow yourself to say no once in a while. This practice will improve your self-esteem and create a space for people to value and respect you more.
6. Set healthy boundaries
Having clear boundaries is vital to establishing that relationships are mutually respectful. Believe it or not, but putting up boundaries actually creates freedom because when our wishes are clearly defined, there is no need to put up walls. Boundaries reflect our self-esteem and our values. A healthy self-respect will teach others how to treat you.
And when the occasional person attempts to push against your lines, simply keep your feet placed firmly on the ground.
7. Follow your heart
We all have something that makes us come alive and gives our lives meaning. Dont forget to listen to the part of you that drives your bliss, and be aware of your idol wants and those little things that distract you. Focus on your purpose because dreams never really go away. They simply get postponed.
Our passions can be as little or big as they are, and we can have one or a multitude of them. Listen to the things that are ticking at your hearts door and find a way to do one thing at a time if you can. You can encourage yourself to do it all and to find a way for life to support you while you do.
Everything in our lives starts with us and ripples into our relationships. So it only makes sense to give yourself as much love, nurturing and joy that you would look for in others, or that others would seek in you. By living the best life we can we inject these ripples to go out with love, beauty, and kindness.
Compare yourself to no one.
Embrace your mistakes, and learn from them.
Take opportunities to develop yourself.
Share your journey with someone you trust.