When a man keeps quiet and gives up on you, it means, he has tried all his possible best to change you; nothing has come out if it.
He is tired of wasting his energy nagging, shouting or screaming, he has decided to find an alternative to you, when he finds an alternative, he shuts down completely, no longer cares about you, or suddenly becomes passive, accepting every damn thing you do without complaining and does his things without acknowledging you or seeking your support!
Don’t wait until your husband shuts down or become passive before you work on your marriage. Pride and stubbornness will throw you out of marriage. If you are stubborn, rigid and opinionated, your marriage won’t work!
What is he complaining about, work on it. Men as a rule don’t complain until they can’t take the shit any more.
Some women are just so stubborn! They won’t just wake up till there is competition. They won’t know their husbands are suffering until they see a strange lady with a protruding tummy in their matrimonial home. Pride won’t allow them to see their husbands as the head who deserves some respect and submission!
If he wants you to get a job to support him, get the job, if he wants you slimmer, slim down for God’s sake! If he asked you to end certain friendships please do so. If his food gets late, prepare them earlier, if he is ashamed of the way you dress, my dear, work on it. If he wants lingerie in his bedroom, please wear lingerie for God’s sake, If he is tired of a single sex position, initiate others or follow his style! If he wants more sex, give him more sex!
Marriage is not static! You are either moving forward in your marriage or moving backward, you are either getting better or worse! You are either enjoying your marriage or not, there is no middle ground in marriage!
Learn to adapt, learn to be flexible, and learn to submit. 2 Peter 3:1-2 says, “In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands (subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them), so that even if they do not obey the word (of God), they may be won over not by discussion but by the (godly) lives of their wives.
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence (for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him-to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband)”. AMPLIFIED VERSION.
Your husband is the most important person in your life after God! Place him above your needs and desires, that is what the Holy Book says. Your desires are secondary to his. You don’t do anything he does not approve of! If you can’t take the shit you shouldn’t have married him in the first place. Now that you are married, bend down to work!
Adapt, be flexible, change! What your friends say about your marriage is not your business; God’s approval is your business! Your husband’s happiness is your business! When you make him happy, God will make sure you are happy!
What goes around usually comes around. When you adapt to your spouse he will also adapt to you! When you change, he changes too.
A man can die for a woman who meets his needs. A man will lay down his life for a woman who honours, respects and submit to him. A man can move heaven and earth to stay with a woman who makes him enjoy marriage.
Be humble sister. Humble women are virtuous women. Humble women make their husbands happy, humble women have great marriages; you will not lose your husband in Jesus name. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017.