As I was in the vehicle traveling recently, there arose many topics of discussions among the passengers, including quarrels amidst. However, after what I’ll call General Discussions there was a segmentation – two or three persons discussing on their corner.
Though I gave no or little attention on was going on in the vehicle, however, my attention was drawn by a young man beside me who said, “No oh, I’m no longer part of this. How can you be justifying adultery?”
They were three (3) of them (young men), one was before me and two beside me. One seems to be married while the other two seems to be single.
The one before me said to the former, “My brother, it’s sweet to befriend ladies, but when you end with them in marriage, you’ll see another thing.”
Hmmm! Seriously, I was then attentive to the already ongoing discussion.
The one before me who seems to be justifying adultery further said that the attitude of many women towards their husband is the most contributing factor to married men going into adultery. So in that, he said that men should not be blamed to an extent concerning them living in adultery.
He said and I paraphrased, “Imagine my wife, after I had gone to work and come back while she was at home, she’ll demand for this and for that, I’ll go out and purchase it for her, but when I’ll demand for sexual intimacy she’ll say that she’s tired. This is what she has been doing. Now money is not coming as usual again and her attitude became saucily weird towards me. So in that situation what do you expect from me?”
He further said that one of his friend who’s married for 7years told him that his wife has not for one day help him in providing for the family, only that she’s expertise in eating and many other examples he gave to justify his point.
Then I began to ask myself, has women turn to liability? How can I go and get a liable liability and call her a wife? Did God call her a liability or a helpmeet? Who’ll want to marry a liability? Matthew? No ooh! God forbid.
Within me, I began to tell who to be…
I married you as purposed by God to be my helpmeet, so on no ground will you be there as a liability beside me.
Before I married you, I’ve been washing my clothes and dishes, sweeping, cooking as I can and doing other domestic work, so as my helpmeet, we’re going to do all together.
We’ll wash, cook, sweep and do all those chores together, and also work and make money together.
Cooking, sweeping, washing or catering is not meant for you while I was meant for pursuing money. No, I don’t agree! We’ll do it together… When you’re tired I’ll also be tired too.
You’ll pray for me while I’ll also pray for you; you’ll wash while I’ll rinse or vice versa; you’ll grind crayfish while I’ll cut onions – together we’ll do it.
Will I be an asset while you’ll become a liability? No oh, for where? We’re going to be a helpmeet to each other spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc., and unlimited to financially or life purpose.
If you’re not learned, I’ll teach you. Where you know better than I, I’ll be your student – you’ll teach me.
We’re called to be one, not in a limited area – we’ll be one in all areas. Together we’ll impact lives in nations and continents and many more.
That’s it for me and her… But thinking it in the other way round. Men seems to be the ones making their wives liabilities.
Sir, on your wedding day, you were called the bridegroom, depicting that you’re the one to groom her. So whatever she’s doing shows how you’re grooming her.
Why will you tell her that her portion is limited to domestic work – that she’s to be a house wife?
What then happens to those God’s given gifts in her? Allow her! She has a specialty within her distinct from yours. Help her shine forth because many lives are waiting for her manifestation.
Don’t hoard her to yourself. Encourage her! Propel her! Don’t keep her in the kitchen. That’s not where she belongs.
Do the cooking, laundering and those chores together with her – it’ll aflame her love and respect for you.
Don’t hinder her! God didn’t create her only to end in becoming your wife – He made her wonderfully and fearfully for a purpose, the purpose of leaving a blueprint in the sand of time – she has a vision and mission too.
On the other side of it, women contribute immensely in making themselves a liability.
Ma, you’re called to be a helpmeet and an eating-mate. Join him in the providence!
Why’ll you say that the money you’re getting is for yourself, while the one he’s getting is for the family? No! That’s not how God made it – two of you should be one in all. Don’t be selfish and make him see you as a liability. Help him as a helpmeet!
Learn financial management. Don’t eat all today! Save and invest, as to help him and as not to be too demanding on him.
Key into his pursuit and support him… Try to align your purpose to his purpose – two shall become one!
Encourage him! Stir him up! Motivate him! Respect him! Run with him! Be his backbone and pride! Gather with him! Invite him to cook, launder and sweep with you!
Make your home a cooperation and not a government house, where everything is in a formal setting and bureaucracy is the watchword.
You marriage will be how you want it to be. It lies in your hand to build or burn it. For “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.”
Women have the potential of taming men. So if he’s trying to make the marriage a “hell” for you, it’s also in your hand to make it “heaven” for both of you. Pray for him and for love to glow and grow in your marriage.
Making yourself a liability to him can lead him to infidelity. You’re wise, apply your wisdom and build your marriage wisely…
Sir/ma, don’t allow the devil win the battle in your home. He’s out to make marriages bitter and put into asunder what God has joined together, of whom you should resist steadfastly in the place of prayer of faith.
If devil gain victory into your marriage, he’ll easy succeed in taking you to hell, resist him! Many are now in hell because of marriage.
Therefore, make God the Bedrock, Center and Core of your marriage. Let go of your bragging and nagging, and let God guide you! Build your marriage in God!
As many that are have bitterness in their marriage, I pray that henceforth things will be better in Jesus name!
To the married and single, your marriage shall be heaven on earth in Jesus name!
God bless you!
© Matthew Buchi Obassy